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Driven To Extremes

by Julius Schlemmacher

Let's face it... getting around the Olympia area isn't as easy as it used to be. Per capita vehicle use in Thurston County has nearly doubled since 1970. The number of Thurston County households with three or more cars increased from 5% in 1960 to 24% in 1990. It is clear that our current transportation infrastructure cannot sustain such growth in automobile use without considerably lessening our overall mobility.

However, a local advocacy group called Citizens for Improved Transit (CIT) feels it has the solution to traffic congestion. "What we need is more highways, more lanes, and faster cars," says Susan M. Patient, the CIT's public affairs coordinator. "It's only common sense: if you want to move more water through a pipe, you make it bigger and pump it faster."

The CIT cites several reasons which all but necessitate the improvement of auto facilities: As careers continue on the trend toward specialization, workers are finding jobs further and further away from where they live. More active lifestyles demand being in more places at more times than ever before. And new "mega-mall" retail stores, accessible primarily by car, offer a larger selection than smaller neighborhood merchants.

To implement their solution, the CIT is lobbying for higher speed limits - up to 120 miles per hour on major freeways - as well as the increased use of higher-performance fuels such as nitrous oxide. They also advocate higher penalties for driving below the speed limit.

In order to improve our area's transportation infrastructure, the CIT has presented a number of interesting proposals, including the following:

• The creation of a six-lane elevated expressway over downtown Olympia connecting the city's east and west sides. From Harrison Avenue, a "flyway" would shuttle cars onto the structure, suspended over Fourth Avenue, and finally merge with traffic on Fourth at Central via another flyway. An interchange at Plum Street would link with a high-speed connector to I-5.
• Doubling the width of several arterials including Capitol Way, Black Lake Boulevard, Harrison Avenue, Sleater-Kinney Road, Pacific Avenue, Martin Way, Boulevard Road, and Yelm Highway. Leftmost lanes would be given higher speed limits of 95 mph, and right lanes would be used for merging and for slower traffic.
• The creation of more parking downtown. "Sylvester Park would be an ideal location," says Patient. "It would also reduce juvenile delinquency and graffiti."
• Construction of a four-lane floating bridge from Boston Harbor to Cooper Point, connecting residents with essential services such as golfing and fine dining. -}

  The organization also stresses the benefits such improvements would bring to our area. "We're looking at thousands of new jobs," says Patient. "We'll create lots of employment for highway construction, car sales, auto insurance, emergency care and ambulances, and the continued development of strip malls and low-density suburban housing. The Olympia area simply cannot afford to not make these improvements."

  CIT is aware of transportation alternatives, but doesn't feel they are reasonable for the typical driver. "Carpools aren't bad," says Patient, "but you're still dependent on someone else to get around, and you can't go where you want when you want to. Bicycles are a good idea, but they're too slow. They just get in the way of drivers. And everybody knows only weird people ride the bus."

  What about the fact that vehicle emissions are a leading contributor to air pollution and greenhouse gases? "We at CIT are concerned about our environment. That's why we're lobbying for improved air filters in all vehicles. No one should have to breathe bad air while they're driving."

  Patient has also heard other arguments against driving. "Critics say drivers cause oil spills through our demand for oil, and that we also cause the death of cities and urban sprawl. How can that be? Everyone drives, and if everyone's doing it, it can't be wrong, can it?

  "Well, I'd love to talk more, but I have to pick up a birthday present for my neice's party, get my dry cleaning, drop off videos, pick up some take-out and get home in time for TV. Gotta run!"

  In case you haven't figured it out by now, this is a piece of satire. None of the names or organizations cited in this piece actually exist ... yet.

  
  

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