By Tom Hoobyar

Neuro-Linguistic Programming, a name that encompasses the three most influential components involved in producing human experience.

Hello and Happy New Year!

I have a treat for you to take into the New Year.

We NLP Comprehensive folks are all back to work from our various vacations and family celebrations. Our president Tom Dotz, and Sharon, Christian and Chris are in Denver (surviving an epic snow season) and I'm in California, where we complain when the temperature drops below 50 degrees.

But still, the seasons change for all of us in other ways.

Something happened to me this last weekend that taught me how NLP can enrich almost any experience. I wanted to share it with you because I thought you might find it useful.

I don't know about how it is with Holiday cards at your place, but here's what happened to the cards we got this season. During the last few weeks, as the mail came each day, Vikki and I took turns reading the incoming Christmas cards to each other, depending on which one of us was washing dishes, cooking, or juggling a grandkid at the time. Then the cards were attached to hanging ribbons framing our front door.

Vikki has house decoration stuff she brings out just for each holiday, then afterward it goes back into a plastic bin till the next year. So this last weekend it was time to take down our Christmas tree and other holiday decorations, and change our house back from Christmas to our "everyday" look.

One of my jobs was to go through all the Christmas cards we'd received, note the names of new babies announced in the holiday letters, and to make sure that all of our addresses and other information on our friends and family was updated.

I was upstairs in my study, opening and rereading each card, and thinking about the people who are important to us but who we almost never see, because of distance.

I reread a card from a cousin of mine, and it was signed, "Love, Janie". It struck me that Janie and I hadn't seen each other for years.

But the card was signed, "love." And I felt the same way, had signed our card to her the same way. I thought, "Well, we're grown up now, separated by distance and our lives, and, what the hell, we'll probably see each other at a family reunion or a family funeral."

Ewwww.

I realized that I was at a choice point. How did I want to feel about people who were once in my life, but now were on another path? I had a brief inclination to be depressed and unhappy about the passage of time and lost relationships.

Oh, and I could also feel guilty because I hadn't made more of an effort to keep in touch. A dark cloud was already starting to form in my mind, even as I was examining the nature of the temptation.

Okay. Just wait-a-damn minute here. This doesn't seem like much fun.

CHANGE YOUR STATE, TOM!

On the other hand I wondered, how good could this be? What if I made reviewing each card an opportunity to celebrate the good times that life had given me with each person?

I went back to Janie's card. I remembered back when we were kids, and my folks and my brother and I would come up to northern California's Central Valley from L.A. for the Fourth of July weekend.

We could hardly wait to see our cousins. It was the highlight of any trip we took. We couldn't wait to get unpacked at our grandparent's farm before we wanted to take off to see our cousins.

I remembered exactly the path my brother and I used to walk, on the hike from our grandparent's farm to the one where Janie lived.

Something happened as I thought of those years gone by. I really stepped back through time into the sensations and feelings of that childhood experience, when Janie was so much more to me than just an annual Christmas card.

I saw the pasture we used to cut through if the stud bull was at the far end (and our panicky sprints to get through the fence if he saw us and started our way). I recaptured the feeling of the hot sand along the side of the road, the sweet-sour-dusty smell of the grape vineyards baking in the sun as we walked along.

The thought stayed with me as I picked up the next card, from a dear old friend across the country. This time I deliberately reread the card, and called up the time in life when we spent more time together than we do now. I saw him and his family, and relived the hours we would spend laughing, sharing dreams and ambitions. Now I knew more than we did then, and I found myself smiling and in my heart, wishing him well.

Then I turned to the next card. Hmmmm.

Something surprising was happening. This task was turning out to be a whole lot more fun than I had expected. I wasn't just "thinking" about each person as I picked up their card. Well, of course that's just what I was doing -- thinking -- but I was doing it in a whole new, richer NLP type of way.

I discovered that by taking the time to REALLY step into each memory, I actually got to spend some time with them. And something else. I not only revisited each person who sent us a card, but the "visit" also renewed my affection for them as well.

It made me feel very fortunate to have had these relationships in my life. Very rich and blessed. I had given myself a refresher course on the wonderful people I've known and loved, and I felt flattered that they still cared enough to send us cards each year. It filled me with a renewed ambition to find ways to make contact more often than just by an annual Christmas card.

When I was done with the cards, I felt pretty good. It was like I had stumbled across a treasured possession that I thought I had lost.

And I realized that you never have to lose someone who has moved out of your life. You can always revisit the time in your past when you were together and not only repeat the enjoyment, but actually expand the experience. Your visit will be enriched with the perspective of the person you have become today.

Another gift from NLP opened -- another surprise blessing of choice. There are an endless number of ways we can each enrich our personal experience of our lives.

So here's the "takeaway" for you -- next time you have something to do that you think might be routine or even a little bit of a downer, why don't you try this instead?

Just ask yourself, "How good can I make this experience?"

Here's a choice you can have for free, and it's smart to replace a bad feeling with a good one. Also, life is going on, and you are being formed by each moment's experience as it happens to you.

Which is another reason to you oughta tilt your choices toward moments that are positive. As you choose to access more positive, uplifting inspiring moments that fill you with gratitude and feelings of good fortune, you will find that your immune system will love you, and life generally will be a little more upbeat.

After all, why would you want to feel deprived when instead you could feel blessed? Have a wondrous, refreshing and delightfully surprising 2007.

Seeya,

Tom Hoobyar
Planning Director, NLP Comprehensive